Breaking taboos from the cradle to the grave 

I was made in a rebellious school yard 

Listening to Pink Floyd loud in a teenage cave

Careful of the words back then, always on my guard

Then the fever came upon me

In one night I lost my soul 

Embraced another’s pleasure 

Fell deep into the darkest hole

Wasted youth immortal, still here whenever I turn around

Growing but never older

Long dead but unable to remain down in the ground

I killed you! Don’t you remember? That night one strange December? All the family were there to see you act the fool, to see you on that staircase, kissing oh so cool. Her name now long forgotten, did she marry her lover that was there? You chased her if I remember. Always a devil, never one to care. 

Strange to think of her, was she the first? The one who took your heart? But you gave it freely to that long cool woman, so glad to take the fall. The kisses oh so sweet then, were you drunk? Was she? Did either of you care? In front of all those eyes watching you both laughing climbing those wide stairs, in that strange December when love and lust were just games of fun and dares.

And the fever dream still grips me, the sweat pours of my skin, my eyes are blurred and weary, but I will not bend or bow, will not be weak, will never break or give in. The magic is ever pressing the spells (so many) cast, see the souls before me, echoes of the past

Names lost to the winds

For time can oft be cruel and so unkind

To give you many faces but never full to rewind

The jouney is a long one, am I half way along the path? Hear the distant rain falling all I can do is oh so quietly laugh.

Reach over to the empty space beside me where I lie, feel the damn patch cold now, head pounding, coughing, want to crawl away and die

But you all stand there bold before me, ghosts in eternal pretty skins, yesterday’s sweet angels, the keepers of my darkest boldest sins

The ones I kissed, held so close, the ones I never touched at all, the fantasies, my nightmares, the ones I loved who never saw me fall, the ones who helped build the largest thickest walls, the ones who came in through the windows, the ones that opened all the doors

The ones that reach on over, take the sweat from off my brow, ever present maidens, hearts of gold still here just don’t ask me how.

Close my eyes, another night, another part, a birthday 30 years ago, drunk, ill, I felt a kiss – my one regret, could not open my eyes, the sweetest kiss, its giver the face destiny cursed me to always miss.

Restless, rise, rip the sheets from off the bed, go to Gethsemanes garden and there lay my aching head

Pray and seek the answers, feel the angst fear the visions feel the dread 

But feel the presence of the Angels so many watch and walk on my arm by my human side, feel the warmth the love the care things no one could ever really hide.